Misunderstandings.
- Piyush
- Oct 6, 2020
- 4 min read
Updated: May 3, 2021
"A single moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous, that it makes us forget the hundred lovable moments spent with each other."
-Anonymous
There are, no doubt, a lot of things that we consider to be the main reason behind broken relationships (and I am not talking about just boyfriends and girlfriends). There is one word for most of these reasons, I believe; it is a 'misunderstanding'.
It basically means a failure to understand something correctly or a disagreement, a quarrel, etc. I needn't have said this because almost everyone reading this blog post has had some experience of a misunderstanding between their friends, parents, family, and so on. In this blog post, I'll try to keep the main focus on just friends( because that is what I've experienced so far and it can be undisputed).
How do Misunderstandings happen?
When two people conflict, they often make negative assumptions about "the other."
Imagine that you are A, and your best friend is B. B is a new friend but has quite become an actual buddy. But since it is not like you've been friends for a long time, so you're not familiar with the fact that B has trust issues. So, one day B sees you talking to C, who is another one of your friends, who doesn't get along with B (they might have fought in the past) much. So later on, B approaches you and asks you why did you talk to that person, and you say that C is a good friend of yours and jokingly remark that C's a better friend of yours than B is. And all of a sudden, he just turns his back on you and doesn't talk to you for a while.
It is a bit clear here that it was all just B's fault for judging his friend, but it's alright; because a friendship cannot be called a friendship when you start judging your friend; even if he judges you, you mustn't start doing the same. If you do, you must apologize later and admit it(if you don't, you'll keep getting feeling guilty about it).
How does your listener misinterpret your words?
The sender has a message he or she intends to transmit, and she/he puts it in words, which, to her/him, best reflect what she/he is thinking. But many things can intervene to prevent the intended message from being received accurately.
Although there can be many reasons fora misunderstanding between you and your friend, I have enlisted the three significant and quite intelligible ones for you:
Overthinking/Misinterpretation (by the listener)
Your friend might ponder over a silly little thing again and again and finally, conclude that you don't really care for him.
2. Inability to say proper language (of the speaker)
You might think that you're quite apt in what you're trying to say, but it is not the case sometimes when you say something based on your outlook. The words coming out of your mouth might mean something else in general, so the person isn't entirely able to understand what you're trying to say.
3. Misconception (by the listener)
As I talked about a different outlook in the previous sub-topic, your listener does have a different view than you. Outlooks can often go so off-topic that if you're talking about guns and arms, your listener might think you're a terrorist (of course, it's not that bad but still things can go quite unexpected).
Speaking of outlooks.... feel free to contact me on my outlook account for queries and recommendations;)
This list was just a broad classification of how misunderstandings can occur, and I am sure you might come up with some good points. A small blog post can of course not cover everything that can fall under this, can it?
Conclusion
Misunderstandings are just another inseparable part of our lives, we can't entirely kick them out. Some of you might have an attitude, like, "if she/he doesn't accept our language, let them go her/his way, I don't care." I am not saying that it is a bad attitude, it is a progressive one because we really don't need friends who judge us, Do we?
They won't be present during your struggle, might show up out of nowhere when you're successful. We do need supportive friends. If you get to know somehow that your new friend doesn't like your way of doing things and is literally not supportive of anything you do at all and just points out all your mistakes, then for real, she/he's not your friend. So stop caring about her/him and move on like she /he was your ex or something.
But, this doesn't mean that you should judge every new friend you make. NEVER JUDGE THE PERSON YOU CALL A FRIEND. It seriously is a bad habit and means that you have trust issues.
The only way you can prevent misunderstandings between new friends is by stop judging him/them. So, always do your part to not judging the next person. At least you would not feel the guilt of doing a wrong thing later. Everyone's a villain in someone's story, you can't help it if you're getting it. Try to generalize things before seeing them your way and try to stop overthinking about what were the mistakes that that person did.
I hereby conclude my blog by quoting a blessed anonymous soul:
at least do your part..............
So, that's all for this week. Hope you guys enjoyed reading this post and, I'd really love to see your suggestions or appreciation for my blog. I had been going through a bad time because I lost a new friend because of this thing. And, well never mind.
What's your view on this topic? Would love to hear from you guys!
I know it's been over a month now and some of you might have expected me to close my blog, but hey, I ain't one of those who quit! Hang in there till the next week!
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